


Evolution

by myth_taken



Series: Can't Believe It's Not Canon [6]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-31 15:27:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8583733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myth_taken/pseuds/myth_taken
Summary: Willow's new friend may very well be a gay friend, who she is gay with. Jury's out, but not really. (The development of Willow and Tara's relationship in s4. Canon-compliant.)





	

It started with hand holding. Willow knew it didn’t count if it was a spell, and she wasn’t counting the spells, but one day, she was studying regular old history with Tara in the library, and they were sitting together, laughing about some old Greek king, when she could feel her hand resting against Tara’s under the table. Not holding, not yet: just touching.

The next day, they were lying on Tara’s bed, reading a spellbook together, when it happened again. It wasn’t under the table this time. Willow could see it, and Tara could see it, and Willow looked at Tara, silently asking, _Do you mean this?_

Tara responded by sliding her hand on top of Willow’s, and Willow turned back to the spellbook, absently threading her fingers through Tara’s.

After that, there was no going back.

And Willow had to ask herself some things. She laid awake at night, telling herself that she couldn’t have a crush on Tara because she had loved Oz. And then, later, telling herself that her crush on Tara didn’t discount her love for Oz.

And then, a few days later, Tara kissed her for the first time.

Like the hand-holding, it was almost accidental. Willow had knocked on Tara’s door before class, and Tara had opened it, ethereal as always, and invited Willow inside for a few minutes until they had to go. Willow had gone in, as usual, and she had wound up holding Tara’s hand, also as usual, until suddenly she looked up at Tara and realized that Tara had been looking at her, and Tara’s smile was so beautiful, and Willow really did have a crush, and then her face was closer to Tara’s, and closer, and then their lips were hovering about a centimeter apart, and Tara closed the gap, leaving Willow to put her free hand on Tara’s waist.

The kiss didn’t last long, and afterwards, Tara gave Willow the smile that Willow was beginning to recognize as just for her, and part of Willow had the urge to turn and run away, panicked, but she knew she felt calmest with Tara, so she just stayed right where she was.

“We should go to class,” Tara said, backing away.

Willow nodded, still drifting in the weird buzzy space that the kiss had created. “Yes. Class. Which exists.” She made sure to smile at Tara before grabbing her hand. “Come on.” Willow pulled herself in to give Tara’s cheek a quick peck, as much to convince herself it was okay as to convince Tara, and then led Tara out the door.

By the next week, the kissing was becoming part of their daily routine, and Willow still hadn’t gotten up the courage to ask Tara about it. Tara hadn’t said anything, probably as a result of being just as afraid as Willow, but Willow _knew_ Tara was a lesbian. The real problem was that Willow didn’t know if _Willow_ was a lesbian.

Willow never said anything, and soon they had a silent agreement that they were definitely not just friends, but also that they didn’t quite need to say anything about it. Willow kept Tara away from her other friends, afraid to share such an important part of her life, and she knew Tara wanted to meet all these other people who Willow talked about constantly, but she was just afraid that Tara would like her less when she saw how brave and strong Buffy was and how kind and funny Xander was and just how much _better_ other people were than Willow.

And then Tara said that _thing_ , the one that made Willow’s heart do a veritable backflip.

“I am, you know. Yours.”

And Willow knew that Tara really _did_ like her, and probably for things that her friends didn’t have. She was still afraid, though.

She shouldn’t have been. Her friends loved Tara, and Tara loved her friends, but she still seemed to want to hold hands with Willow and kiss her and everything, and she even made sure to clear it with Willow before she got a cat. Willow was amazed, but she wasn’t going to argue about it. And she was becoming pretty sure that she was gay.

And then Oz came back. Suddenly, everything about Willow’s life had flipped itself completely over. She _had_ wanted Oz back. Oz wanted her back. It was supposed to be simple, but it was anything but: Willow liked girls now. Willow liked _Tara_ now. And she still liked Oz, and he was so interesting, and so fun to talk to, but why did he have to come back now?

The scariest part was having to tell Buffy about Tara. Saying the words: “It’s complicated… because of Tara.” Those three words hanging in the air almost killed Willow, and Buffy’s reaction almost killed her again: “You mean Tara has a crush on Oz?” Because _no_ , that’s _not_ what she meant, not at _all_. It hung in the air for another moment while Buffy worked it out, and then it came crashing down to the ground when Buffy seemed all freaked, but it was fine. It was _fine_. Willow only hoped that it would be just as fine when she told Xander, but that was the least of her problems.

But the problem solved itself. Despite her tears, Willow was almost relieved that Oz had to leave. It made her life simpler, if not easier.

And it meant that when Tara said, “You should be with the one you love,” Willow could give the answer she wanted to give: “I am.”

The candle went out, and, in the dark, Willow heard the candle drop to the floor and felt Tara’s hands on her waist, pulling her close into another kiss. It felt so easy, so natural to be kissing Tara; it was actually way different from with Oz, when Willow didn’t know how to kiss or where to put her hands or anything. With Oz, Willow was always a little separate; with Tara, it was like they had simply fallen together, merged into one. And this kiss was simultaneously better and worse than all the others; it was worse because they were both still crying a little bit, but it was better because it was surer, clearer, more _focused_ than all the others. It was not destined to stay standing, and so Willow found herself lying on her side, one hand running itself over Tara’s body, interrupting their kisses with smiles on a tear-stained face.

Suddenly, Willow pulled back, and Tara’s face in front of her was so worried that she felt bad about having stopped. But she had stopped for a good reason, so she forged ahead.

“Are you, I mean, do you want to be my girlfriend for real?” Willow asked.

Tara gave Willow that special grin, the one where one side of her mouth went up more than the other. “Of course I do.”

That was the first night that Willow fell asleep in Tara’s bed, holding her new girlfriend (the word still filled Willow’s head with the thought equivalent of millions of tiny exclamation points) and exchanging soft, sweet kisses as they both drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, when Willow finally managed to extricate herself from the soft cloud of being in the arms of someone she loved, she went back to the room she shared with Buffy to get clothes. Buffy was just waking up, but she wasn’t too asleep to give Willow an eyebrow wiggle, which Willow stoically ignored.

Still, when she and Buffy arrived at breakfast, Willow had no qualms about holding Tara’s hand while she ate.


End file.
